Oct 23, 2007

Has it really been a year.....

It can't be possible that almost a year has come and gone. So many things have happened/changed. That's a big DUH! The best of all has been the fact that my husband and I bought a House! We are officially grown-up and stuff. I'm still trudging through school and Randall has started a new blog. It is great if I do say so myself. I feel like we are kinda wandering right now. I still don't really know what I want to do, but I do know that I am tired of school this year I only took one month off from school this whole year and I feel a little burnt out. The point is that I want to finish. I just don't understand how this whole life thing works. I just want to do something I love and get paid enough for it. I don't want to be rich. I don't want a big house and fancy cars. I just want to know that we can buy food and rent movies and not have to worry. It seems so simple. Why is it so hard? Will I have to wait until I am 50 to figure out that what I want to do is what I should do? My jill-of-all-trades has left me the master of none. I don't know what I want to do. That's a lie, I want to read and write. I want to watch movies and TV. I want to hang out with my husband and laugh. I want to have time to organize my house and cook. I want to spend the 40 hours a week I spend at work with my family. I want to have time to spend the holidays with my family. I really feel like a wage-slave. How does this work? I am 27 1/2 years old. I know what I want. I just don't know how to go about getting it.
Well there have been some successes over the last year in figuring things out. I have finally begun to conquer my life-long unhealthy relationship with food. I did with the help of Dr. Judith Beck and her Beck Diet Solution, which is not really a diet at all. She helped me get at the root of my problem thinking and behavior. I feel like a different person. I have lost to date 44 lbs. I still have 94 lbs to go, but that is less than 100 lbs! So I feel like I am closer than I have been in a while.
This biggest motivator for the weight loss has been the desire to have a baby. I want to be closer to my goal weight before we begin to start the process in earnest, but I feel like our time is slipping away. Randall will be 40 next year and I can literally hear his biological clock ticking. So that will probably be next year's big adventure.
I should be off to class now. Then it's on to work. It never stops. Here's hoping for rain.
Love to all and remember to hug someone today.

1 comment:

fig said...

Thanks for posting! Over the cries of "More! More!" in the background, I say don't wait to do what you love. Do it ASAP. Bravo for you--you're figuring some things out. Some of us never do. Oh, and I wish I could send you guys some of our rain. All my love! (and call me)