Sep 27, 2010

Not gonna start with the whole...

It's been so long since I posted junk, just gonna dive in. 

This SAHM (that's stay-at-home-Mom, for all you guys who don't frequent parenting message boards, which I suspect is all of you) gig is hard!  I really do feel sorry for the people who come to visit me, being already predisposed to verbosity, I become a veritable word explosion!  I actually apologized to my friend Eilis when she visited on Friday, as the look of sheer horror and surprise on her face made it necessary.  I do not understand how people did this sort of thing before the Internet.  Real people are hard to find on a work week, because they are working.  You can try to get with other Moms, but with small babies that proves daunting and difficult, and once you get together you just manage babies the whole time and lose whole chunks of conversation anyway.  Then it's a choice every time, do I want to leave the house and risk the chance of a major meltdown later (x2), or will not leaving the house result in a Mommy meltdown that can only be solved with tears and wine?  I am a social person, bouts of hermit crabbiness aside, I love people.  I love to gossip and gab, to whisper and quietly judge, to laugh and gasp in shock.  I love my society.  Thank you, Harvard drop-out for creating Facebook.  Whatever questionable effect it is having on the way we relate to each other aside, it has saved my brain daily since I started the best job I have ever had.  Even though my beautiful children satisfy so many of my daily needs- laughter, awe, challenging my problem solving skills, and sweet kisses and baby soft hands touching my face- they do not provide the intelligent discourse I crave.  Talking back to NPR doesn't count as they, I understand now, can't hear me.  So everyday I choose, if no one has signed up to come visit with us ( mental note:  must bake more to coerce people to journey out, it seems like the promise of baby's smiles would be enough, alas it is not), to either have a easy day with well-rested, calm babies; or to lay eyes on an adult within the 13 hours Randall works. 

Well, choosing isn't that hard happy babies win every time.  

Jun 3, 2010

30 married, mother of two

Well it's here, the day I have been anticipating my whole life-I think I may be an adult now. I am amazed that the title of my blog I chose 6 years ago still is so apt. The past year has brought so many losses, some tragic and others welcome. It has brought much gain. I can't even begin to conceptualize how lucky and amazingly happy I am now. When my husband and I look at our beautiful children we have to just give up trying to understand how we made these amazing creatures. I am still myself, but so much more than I used to be. I feel I am finally coming into my full self. I am more motivated, organized, patient, dedicated, and full of love than I ever thought possible. This is the change that motherhood has enacted upon me in just 6 weeks, I can't imagine what the next year and beyond will bring. I can't wait to find out. Moving forward I know there will be pain and frustration, but I feel armed against it. Malcolm and Lucy and my husband are a family. A family I helped create and will shape in the future, it is my true career. I finally found my place, and I can see the way ahead. It only took 30 years.

Apr 11, 2010

Hello 2010!

I have been concentrating so hard on being Pregnant I forgot about my poor little blog! Well here we are 36 weeks and 2 days along, still gestating. This is pretty far for Twins! People keep telling me that I am doing a great job, I don't really understand this I have just been truckin' along.
My last day of work was yesterday. I thought that I would be elated, but it was a little more mixed. I have worked since I was 18 years old, mostly in retail management. I have always wanted to be a homemaker, I really feel like I could do a good job at it. Now that it is here, I am scared and excited.

I am going to take it easy until the babies come, I do have a few projects in mind, though. With all this time I should be able to update this thing more! That is until the babes actually come.

What is on the docket for today?

Finishing more Thank you notes, we were so lucky to receive so many beautiful gifts, I have been trying to slowly get through all the notes. I am also going to conquer the laundry situation here! It always makes me feel so much better when the clothes are all put away and clean. I will also try to catch some rays today too. It is so lovely here right now, not a cloud in the sky, in the 70's, basically heaven. I have to remember to not bite off more than I can chew! I am carrying around two (big and getting bigger) babies. I am just so excited to finally be doing things important to my family and feathering my nest!