Apr 15, 2009

See, I'm back again and so soon!


I have to stop addressing my blog, it's a little too "Dear Diary" for my taste. I am meant to be cleaning right now, so of course here I am. I love the above picture, it's hilarious, yet pretty in a way. It's such a pretty day, my mom and my dad are coming tomorrow. I really need to prepare their room and spruce up the bathroom. All I want to do is take a nap. It's too late for caffeine, it's out of the question. I want to actually get to sleep tonight. My mom can have coffee at anytime of the day and still fall asleep on the couch at 8:30 while watching a movie. A month without caffeine and I felt great, I was ready to do without for awhile. Then when I started to consume it again I found the addiction picked up right where it left off. Maybe I should give it for good this time, no reason just to make myself feel better. I'll still have the booze! Can't live without the alcohol. Speaking of, I think I will have some right now. Oh wait the cleaning...

Apr 13, 2009

Facebook stole my heart, for a little while

I will try not to abandon you again blog. Lots of things have happened since I wrote on you last. Some good, some bad. All life changing. As I change, I find I am the optimist that I always knew I was. Dealing with hard times, and disappointment there really is no room for defeatism. I thought that I would buckle and slip into the silent, depressive state I've romanticised ever since I read the Bell Jar and the like when I was a teen. Instead I was just, alright. The logical part of my brain, that I've down-played even to myself, stepped up. It filled my head with all sort of smart observances and practical ideas. So I am here. Changed, but still myself. More so some may say. There are still tears that come from no where, but they are further and farther between. It seems I am strong. I have found that in the face of loss there is something to be gained and that is reassuring.