Not gonna start with the whole...

It's been so long since I posted junk, just gonna dive in. 

This SAHM (that's stay-at-home-Mom, for all you guys who don't frequent parenting message boards, which I suspect is all of you) gig is hard!  I really do feel sorry for the people who come to visit me, being already predisposed to verbosity, I become a veritable word explosion!  I actually apologized to my friend Eilis when she visited on Friday, as the look of sheer horror and surprise on her face made it necessary.  I do not understand how people did this sort of thing before the Internet.  Real people are hard to find on a work week, because they are working.  You can try to get with other Moms, but with small babies that proves daunting and difficult, and once you get together you just manage babies the whole time and lose whole chunks of conversation anyway.  Then it's a choice every time, do I want to leave the house and risk the chance of a major meltdown later (x2), or will not leaving the house result in a Mommy meltdown that can only be solved with tears and wine?  I am a social person, bouts of hermit crabbiness aside, I love people.  I love to gossip and gab, to whisper and quietly judge, to laugh and gasp in shock.  I love my society.  Thank you, Harvard drop-out for creating Facebook.  Whatever questionable effect it is having on the way we relate to each other aside, it has saved my brain daily since I started the best job I have ever had.  Even though my beautiful children satisfy so many of my daily needs- laughter, awe, challenging my problem solving skills, and sweet kisses and baby soft hands touching my face- they do not provide the intelligent discourse I crave.  Talking back to NPR doesn't count as they, I understand now, can't hear me.  So everyday I choose, if no one has signed up to come visit with us ( mental note:  must bake more to coerce people to journey out, it seems like the promise of baby's smiles would be enough, alas it is not), to either have a easy day with well-rested, calm babies; or to lay eyes on an adult within the 13 hours Randall works. 

Well, choosing isn't that hard happy babies win every time.  

30 married, mother of two

Well it's here, the day I have been anticipating my whole life-I think I may be an adult now. I am amazed that the title of my blog I chose 6 years ago still is so apt. The past year has brought so many losses, some tragic and others welcome. It has brought much gain. I can't even begin to conceptualize how lucky and amazingly happy I am now. When my husband and I look at our beautiful children we have to just give up trying to understand how we made these amazing creatures. I am still myself, but so much more than I used to be. I feel I am finally coming into my full self. I am more motivated, organized, patient, dedicated, and full of love than I ever thought possible. This is the change that motherhood has enacted upon me in just 6 weeks, I can't imagine what the next year and beyond will bring. I can't wait to find out. Moving forward I know there will be pain and frustration, but I feel armed against it. Malcolm and Lucy and my husband are a family. A family I helped create and will shape in the future, it is my true career. I finally found my place, and I can see the way ahead. It only took 30 years.

Hello 2010!

I have been concentrating so hard on being Pregnant I forgot about my poor little blog! Well here we are 36 weeks and 2 days along, still gestating. This is pretty far for Twins! People keep telling me that I am doing a great job, I don't really understand this I have just been truckin' along.
My last day of work was yesterday. I thought that I would be elated, but it was a little more mixed. I have worked since I was 18 years old, mostly in retail management. I have always wanted to be a homemaker, I really feel like I could do a good job at it. Now that it is here, I am scared and excited.

I am going to take it easy until the babies come, I do have a few projects in mind, though. With all this time I should be able to update this thing more! That is until the babes actually come.

What is on the docket for today?

Finishing more Thank you notes, we were so lucky to receive so many beautiful gifts, I have been trying to slowly get through all the notes. I am also going to conquer the laundry situation here! It always makes me feel so much better when the clothes are all put away and clean. I will also try to catch some rays today too. It is so lovely here right now, not a cloud in the sky, in the 70's, basically heaven. I have to remember to not bite off more than I can chew! I am carrying around two (big and getting bigger) babies. I am just so excited to finally be doing things important to my family and feathering my nest!

14 weeks 5 days

Went to the regular baby doctor today. Saw those sweet little baby heads, and heard their hearts. Randall and I, after mucho grumbling on Randall's part, got our swine flu shots. We found out that their NT test came back normal so one hurdle down... Randall insists that I am developing a little tummy, but I still just look fat to me. So I will probably wait until it is a little more impressive before I post a pic, also the pictures from today's baby photo session were really blurry so two more weeks and we will have good pictures of Babies and Belly.

Symptoms!

~Heartburn-all the time, after I eat, before I eat, no matter what I eat-pain
~Nausea-STILL, When is this going to end? Just have to keep shoving food in my face
~Peeing all the time!
~Weird Face rash-improving, but still present
~Butt Pain (new!)- like the end of my legs aren't connected to my pelvic bones, super ouch!
~Brain mush (new!)-wait what was I saying...?

I can't believe it's almost the end of the 4th month, with the holidays rapidly approaching I am sure time is going to start to fly. It may be time to start worrying about real stuff, like What are we gonna call these things and where in this tiny house are we gonna put them?

So much to ponder...

Twins!

I am pregnant. After wishing and hoping for so long, it finally happened, we are going to have babies. I am 13 weeks and 3 days pregnant with twins. I can't believe it. I am having a hard time accepting that everything will be alright. My symptoms are slowly getting better. I haven't thrown up since Saturday so there's that. Heartburn, nausea, overactive gag reflex, sensitive to smells, moody, basically pregnant. This should all be reassuring to me, but I keep waiting for the other shoe to fall. Only time will tell, I will try to positive. I will try to use this blog as a pregnancy journal, to record how all this goes. I hope to post belly pics and Ultra-sound pics, so stay tuned!

Everyone else is doing it...

So every single person in my family has updated their respective blogs, except for me. So here I am to join the band wagon. I am working on a project that I can't really talk about yet, but it is taking all my energy right now. Hopefully I'll be able to fill everyone in soon. The new job is not quite as loathsome as first thought, but it is utterly boring. I kinda can't leave it right now, so lemons=lemonade. I have met some really nice people, always a highlight. Still haven't figured out what I want to be when I grow up so for now I will focus on outside of work interests. One day I will figure out that perfect mixture of flex-schedule, work from home, money-making venture, but until then I gotta bring home the bacon. I can think of a lot worse places to do that.

Right now I am looking forward to the weekends, the 24th will be spouse and my 5 year anniversary. Then the next weekend it Halloween, my 3rd favorite holiday! I am so jazzed, the remainder of October is going to rock!

Wow I really do suck at keeping up with this...

So I am supposed to be packing for the much anticipated Dragon*Con, but I am a champion procrastinator, and this time you are the beneficiary. Spouse and I have been eagerly looking forward to this trip since the super-awesome time we had last year at the Con. This year we are more prepared and know what to expect, so we won't be missing a single thing! We also have a hotel room this year and plenty of time-off requested (I even have a recov day planned!).

I am feeling a wee bit hormonal, or maybe Spouse is the most annoying person in the world, maybe both is true. The fact that I hate my new job violently probable isn't helping the whole "mood" thing. I really do have to keep the stress in check, more meditating less worrying.

OK, fine, I guess I'll get busy...see you on the other side.